Shannon O'Toole Author of Wedded to The Game & Wife of a NFL Player and Coach Interviewed

Author: Shannon O'Toole

ISBN: 0803286252

Good day Shannon and thanks for agreeing to participate in our interview.

Thank you for the invitation!

Norm:

Shannon, please tell our readers a little bit about your personal and professional background.

Shannon:

I received my master's degree in sociology at Western Michigan University. My master's thesis was entitled "Professional Football Players' Attitudes Relating Toward Women and Violence." When I was 19 years old and playing softball at Western Michigan University I met John Morton. For the past 14 years, John has been involved with professional football. He played for 5 years and now he is a coach. (In February 2006, he signed a 2-year contract with the New Orleans Saints as their "Passing Game Assistant"). My academic background combined with my personal experience made me very interested in the topic of NFL Women.

Norm:

How did your Masters degree in sociology help you with your research and in the writing of your book?

Shannon:

It helped immensely. It is an excellent discipline for examining social issues and dynamics. In the book I delve into sexism and racism in context to professional football. Sociology has opened my eyes to societal inequities and injustice and it has molded me into the woman I am today.

Norm:

What is the underlying message or theme of Wedded to the Game: The Real Lives of NFL Women?

Shannon:

The message is clear: these women are not the stereotypical shallow, gold-digging, Barbie dolls. They are sharp, strong-willed and opinionated. They are multi-tasking, talented women who take on and conquer the challenges that NFL life throws at them. In fact, they are tough, if not tougher than the men who play and coach the game. The percentage of women who fit the negative stereotype is probably less than ten percent - and these types of women never last for long. Those who learn to cope with the NFL's immense difficulties become stubborn, resilient and wise survivors.

Norm:

Do you believe that the sampling of interviews was sufficient to come to some of your conclusions?

Shannon:

I do, mainly because I was very careful to select women whose experiences ran the gamut of NFL life. While I spoke with Jackie Rice who is married to All-Everything Jerry Rice, I also interviewed the girlfriend of a rookie free agent who was simply hoping her boyfriend would be on the roster so they would have health insurance at the time of their baby's birth. Ultimately, I knew there was an adequate sample when I began to hear the same answers to my numerous questions. We really are a sisterhood with shared experiences unique to professional sports life.

Norm:

Why did you feel compelled to write this book?

Shannon:

To quote the preface:

When I began my research for this book I had an ulterior motive. Although I have been in the NFL for twelve years now and I know very well what this life is like, I was also seeking the advice and hard-earned wisdom of women who had already found solutions to my numerous concerns. I still struggle with the life I've chosen, and so I wanted to know: How do other women deal with the NFL? How do they cope and survive? What are their experiences?

I knew these women did not fit the stereotype. I wanted other people to know it too.

Norm:

Can you explain some of your research techniques, and how you found sources for your book? I notice there is an absence at the end of the book of a selected bibliography. Any reason for this omission?

Shannon:

To quote the preface:

I sent an anonymous survey to over 150 women and got back an amazing 75 responses. Out of those 75 responses, I chose 30 women to interview in depth. Their stores make up the heart of this book. About half were willing to go on record and let their names be used, and about half wanted to remain anonymous. In the initial anonymous survey, I asked respondents to either "agree strongly, agree mildly, disagree mildly, or disagree strongly" to a myriad of statements regarding NFL life. These responses form the basis of some of my general statements and conclusions about what off-the-field life is like for women. Then, over the course of my thirty one-on-one interviews, I received full, in-depth answers to these often difficult, complex questions.

Regarding the absence of a bibliography, the current literature on professional sports spouses is minimal. Most of the published works are salacious, racy novels that simply serve to perpetuate the unfair stereotypes. My book is the only book on the market (that I am aware of) that is part insiders tell-all and part sociological study.

Norm:

What obstacles did you have in writing and researching your book?

Shannon:

There were very few obstacles during the research process. I was surprised by the willingness and the eagerness of the women willing to speak about their experiences. They wanted to talk, not just about the good times, but about some of their most dreadful and unbearable experiences. NFL Women are almost universally overlooked by the public and the media, and what I discovered is that they have things to say and they want to be heard.

My difficulties arose during the writing process. Before I began this book I was completely naïve regarding the art of writing. I had NO IDEA how difficult a task it is to write well. Writing well is a true skill and I did not have the needed training. I lost count of the number of major revisions. But I did have a goal to see my name on a book cover, and I was completely and thoroughly determined to reach that goal. (I also have a coach for a husband and he knew all the right motivational buttons to push!) Like millions of writers, my proposal was rejected again and again before it finally found a home at the University of Nebraska Press. And even then, I needed the skill of a fantastic outside developmental editor, Jeff Campbell in San Francisco. I am forever in his debt for the beautiful things he did with my manuscript.

It took me 5 years from start of research to the final finished product. That is a long time. But the feeling of self-fulfillment that I have right now, makes every day of those 5 years well worth it.

Norm:

How has the feedback been so far? What are your hopes for this book?

Shannon:

From both within and outside of the football world, the favorable feedback has been tremendous. Andrew Yardley of the Washington Post called Wedded to the Game an "intelligent, thoughtful book." Feedback from NFL Women includes phrases like, "great insight as to what life is really like for us" and "invaluable information for rookie wives/girlfriends." The central theme, according to a woman married to a player, "It was comforting to know that while the stories may vary many of our experiences are the same."

Even women who are not fans of the game can relate to many of the book's issues, such as frequent relocation or dealing with a partner's long hours - both common occurrences in today's American work culture.

Currently, I am speaking with two television producers who are interested in the topic of NFL Wives. Check my website for updates on these projects.

Of course, I hope this book continues to grow in popularity and one day reaches the Best Seller List . . . with Oprah's help. (smile)

Norm:

What is next for Shannon O'Toole is there anything else you wish to add that we have not covered?

Shannon:

It is my dream to implement and facilitate an NFL Women Mentoring Program. The mission of this program is to lessen the strain and uncertainty, and thereby increase the life satisfaction of women new to the league by formally connecting them with experienced veteran wives/significant others. In these relationships, veteran NFL Women offer advice, answer questions, and guide their mentees in developing skills and methods for copy with the myriad of circumstances unique to NFL life. I am currently speaking with the league office along with the NFLPA about offering this program on a league-wide basis.

In the immediate future, John and I look forward to helping the people and the animals affected by Hurricane Katrina. "Recover, Rebuild, Rebirth" and GO SAINTS!

*Note: Hurricane Katrina dogs and cats continue to need loving homes. Please go to: http://www.petfinder.com to adopt one of these deserving animals.

The Top 5 Sports Books of All Time   

Finding Help at Discussion Forums Online Is Easier Than You Think!

Are you stuck with a nerve-wracking problem that seems beyond your scope of resolution? Do you want to get fast, concise and effective answers and solutions to your problems? If so, then you have to consider finding help at discussion forums. Unless you start using discussion forums, you may never really know what you are missing.

While some people are satisfied with self-help instructional guides, others want a more participant approach to solving their problems. Self-help guides may offer you plenty of tips, but not in a fulfilling way like a forum discussion. As you will come to discover, there are certain things that gravitate people toward discussion forums. Three of the most popular factors are the friendliness, bond, and outpouring help of members.

How You Stand to Benefit from Online Discussion Forums

The coolest thing about finding help at discussion forums is that so many people are willing to help you free. There are amateurs and also experts who provide real practical information. You will find a lot of advice, some helpful others just mere suggestions. Anyway, chances are high that you will find a timely advice to your problem or new perspectives to enable you deal with your problem.

Also, you don't have to wait for long to get good responses to your problems. The responses will start tricking once your question goes live. Members can offer solutions in the form of tips or simple steps that can help you resolve your problem. Still, other members may also provide leads to useful resources.

You will also find forum members more welcoming and friendly. There is a strong connection among members in discussion forums. This explains why many members offer voluntary help and follow-ups to other members who are stuck with specific problems. With timely help from friendly members, you don't really have to wait for long before you can fix your problem.

Making Good Use of Discussion Forums

Since there are so many respectable online discussion forums, you have to make up your mind about which forums you want to join. Most forums require new members to create user accounts before they start posting questions to specific problems. Once you create your account, you can initiate a discussion and wait for members to provide useful advice and information that relates to your problem.

Remember, the kind of responses that you will get depends on the nature of the problem. So, you have to have to be very specific about what you want. If you are looking for a solution to a particular problem, then you should look for topic-specific forums or forums that revolve around certain topics. For instance, if you are stuck with a technical computer problem, then you can find better help by following threads in a computer forum than in a general forum.

Are You Afraid to Spend the Money on a Membership Site?   

What Is All This Forum Marketing Stuff Anyway?

In this article I am going to teach you about a type of internet marketing called forum marketing, what it is, and how to get started.

To be a successful Internet marketer you need to be proficient at many different types of marketing. Part of building a profitable information marketing business is building a relationship with your readers and customers. A great way to do that is by employing a marketing technique called forum marketing.

Forum marketing is simply the act of visiting many forums in your niche and participating in the conversations there. Forums can be found in probably every topic you could ever think of.

Folks that have an interest in a topic will start a group and allow other folks to chat online about the topic. Perhaps you enjoy white tail deer hunting, there are dozens of forums online for this subject. A forum moderator keeps the forum up and running and monitors the forum to keep rude or disruptive folks out.

You can think of a forum as the local coffee shop conversations. If you have ever sat in a local shop, you overhear conversations ranging from the high school football team to deer hunting to how good the coffee is.

An online forum takes that to a new level and it creates a common place for folks to discuss one issue or topic only. Softball forums discuss softball stuff, pitching, hitting and all that. They may even break the forum into groups that discuss specific parts of the game - such as hitting, pitching, parenting, etc.

Sounds like fun stuff, but how do I get started?

Most forums are open to anyone. You can simply do a search online like this: forum: softball and you will likely find several. Choose one and get registered.

They will want your name and email, sometimes they may want more than that just to be sure you are a real person. You can sign up for as many forums as you have time to visit and be a part of.

Once you are registered, log in and join the conversations. Ask questions, answer questions and just be a part of the whole group. Just like the local coffee shop, except here you tend to stay on one subject only.

Once you have been a member for a while you can start adding your website to your signature line or just add it into your profile. If people like what you are saying, they will search you out and visit your site. Eventually you will become somewhat of a local expert and other members will start referring to you.

Are You Afraid to Spend the Money on a Membership Site?   

The Success Of Your Membership Site Depends On Trust

Paid membership sites can be very profitable, but it's not easy to succeed with them. Many business owners have big plans for their membership site, but are soon disappointed and frustrated with the lack of subscribers and engagement among members. That's because they don't understand the key component of a successful membership site: trust.

This is what usually happens...

Let's say you're already an established expert, with clients who pay for your expertise. You might have even created information products to share your expertise in other ways - for example, in books, blog posts, audio programs and videos.

So you get excited about the idea of creating your own paid membership site, where you provide some of your expertise and resources to subscribers (members). They don't get access to everything you do, but they get a substantial amount of it, for a low monthly fee.

This is easy to create, especially with tools like Ning, a low-cost service that handles all the technical stuff for you.

So you create it, start promoting it, and wait.

And wait...

And wait...

You might give away some free trial subscriptions to your top clients, your close colleagues and some friends. And you might get the occasional subscription from somebody you don't know.

But overall the result is pretty disappointing. You're not getting anywhere near the amount of members you expected, and even people who said they would be interested in your membership site don't sign up when they're asked to make a commitment.

And you don't understand why they are not joining. After all, you know you're offering incredible value. You couldn't offer any more unless you were giving it away!

But you didn't understand the missing piece...

Creating a membership site needs more than providing your expertise, creating information products and site hosting. All of those things are important, but they aren't enough.

This is the missing piece of the puzzle: Trust.

That might sound odd, and probably isn't what you expected. But it's true - most paid membership sites fail because of a lack of trust. For example:

Members don't know they can trust you to deliver great value every month. Members don't trust themselves to get value from their membership. If prospective members don't know you, they don't know whether to choose you or somebody else. You worry about somebody joining the site, downloading everything immediately and then cancelling their membership. You worry about people taking advantage of the increased access to you (wasting your time with too many phone calls and e-mails). You worry about members giving out the password to their friends. These are all issues of trust, which you need to overcome if you want to build a successful membership site. Don't get me wrong - these are genuine concerns, not just figments of your imagination. But they can all get in the way of your success.

Here's how to solve all these trust issues...

You don't need to spend months in therapy tackling your trust issues! Instead, there's one simple way to address all of these issues: Work with people you already trust (and who already trust you).

In other words, don't base your membership site strategy on having to attract lots of strangers. Plan your membership site based on the majority of your members being people who know, like and trust you already.

For example, they might be:

Your top clients and their team members Past customers who want on-going support Clients who are already paying for other services (so you can sell them a subscription as well) This is a boring strategy!

Let's be clear: This is not a sexy strategy. It's more fun to post on Twitter, build a Facebook page, set up an affiliate program, and so on. But that's not an easy path to success. If you do get the occasional person who stumbles over your site and signs up as a member, that's a bonus. But make sure you're willing to proceed even if you get none of those people.

Are You Afraid to Spend the Money on a Membership Site?   

4 Reasons Why You Should Use Forums to Market Your Online Home Business

Online forums, also known as chat rooms or bulletin boards, are gathering places for people who have a common interest where they can share ideas and make new friends and meet new business associates.

Internet marketing forums are widespread online and if you're just starting out with your online home based business you should seek out and sign up with a couple of the most popular chat rooms in your particular niche.

Here are 4 reasons why these bulletin boards should play a vital role in your Internet marketing campaign:

1. Networking plays just as critical a part in your online marketing efforts online as it does offline, and forums are incredible places for meeting other Internet business owners. These people are better established on the Internet marketing scene and they may be willing and able to give you the insight you need to get started quickly.

These are also great places to form other business relationships such as joint venture agreements which can help you build your list quickly and to make those extra sales we all need to make when we're just beginning.

2. When you're new to Internet marketing you're going to run into problems which can slow your progress and cost you time and money. However, being a member of one of these bulletin boards allows you to post your problem on the website so you can ask others if they have a solution to your dilemma. You can also get advice related to other areas of your home business which can also give you a head start as a newcomer to the world Internet marketing.

3. Just by visiting these chat rooms on a regular basis and reading what other marketers are saying you can come up with new ideas for products, discover original advertising tips and perhaps get some insight on new innovations or new tools which can help give you an edge over your competition.

4. Finally, Internet forums provide an excellent opportunity to promote your Internet enterprise. By adding a link to your blog or your product offer in your signature file you can attract hordes of targeted prospects to your home page as well as add new subscribers to your email list.

In order to attract these visitors however you must contribute valuable content to these chat rooms so these people will want to visit your website to get more of your information.

So as you can see Internet forums offer many advantages for your online home business when you use them correctly and treat them with respect by making valuable contributions on a regular basis.

Are You Afraid to Spend the Money on a Membership Site?   

Forum Advertising and Marketing Tips - Advertise Your Webpage Using Web Based Forums

Online Forum Internet marketing is vital to results!

If you're not carrying it out currently then you should definitely start. Online online forums are fantastic options, instruments, targeted website traffic generation devices and there are literally 1000's of these in just about every niche you can imagine. Forum promotion is probably among the least difficult to achieve some awareness by professionals and consumers in your niche market and it is sometimes ignored or forgotten about. The following are some forum promoting ideas that can assist you make the best of your forum marketing campaign

Forum Advertising and marketing Ideas:

1. Posting on Discussion forums Associated with your Specialized niche: This cannot be emphasized enough and it is necessary to your discussion forum internet marketing success. As an example if you're a dog walking service you would want to post on online forums related to dogs. Even better look for a discussion forum in your specific town where dogs are discussed and post there. To accomplish this just Google "[your keyword] Forums"

2. Do not join to a lot at first:Though in the beginning you might want to conquer the discussion forum world it is essential to increase your popularity first. At some point it will be easier to keep track of multiple forums but learning one or two at first may help gain great reputations plus some possible good allies on the internet.

3. Use your signature although not immediately!: This is very important, so essential that many forums do not permit you to use your signature until you might have had a certain amount of prosperous posts with a positive reputation. It goes straight back to the status piece and how very important it really is to make certain everyone has good things to say about you. All online forums are moderated and spammers are really common creating profiles. Moderators in some instances find you creating a signature straight away as spam and your Internet protocol address will get blacklisted for life.

4. Complete your user profile: Before you start posting insert as much of the user profile info as you possibly can. Your character or picture is important for your success. Posting a photo can help with all your web sites or small businesses brand awareness. Also there are options within your user profile to include your web site. This gives you an important backlink to your site right away. Not just that it's going to show moderators that you are a real person and you're intending to grow to be a substantial contributor to their internet site.

5. Study the rules and Present yourself: Understand the regulations of your discussion forum and do not break them. Occasionally stuff that you wouldn't think about are against the policies and would certainly lead to you getting banned from a discussion forum. Then go an introduce yourself within the right forum site. Moderators really like this because doing so provides them far more reason to trust you and also leave you alone.

If you follow these tips and be sure to try them whenever you get into the community forum advertising and marketing world I then have no doubt you will be successful in attaining targeted traffic to your site. Here are a few message boards I have found helpful to me and giving me some great info on developing a sound online campaign.

Are You Afraid to Spend the Money on a Membership Site?